“You can’t have an excuse and results at the same time.”
One of the toughest things we will ever do in our lives is to really sit down with ourselves and face who we are, warts and all. We all do it, every single one of us, we want to see the world through our own individual lenses, making ourselves “right” all of the time, while putting the focus on other people and how they supposedly wronged us, making ourselves the victim, or pointing out all of the wrong or bad things we think other people have done, performing a character assassination on someone we may have called “friend” in the past. While many of my posts have been supportive and uplifting, I would be remiss if I did not let you in on a key element of my work–getting people to put the focus on themselves and take responsibility for it and drop the denial. This is not easy work, it takes a lot of self awareness and self evaluation, and there are times when people leave me wondering what the heck I am doing and why they are paying me to do it, but if you come through a few sessions with me, you will leave stronger and better, I promise.
Notice how I didn’t say drop the “drama,” this is a buzz word a lot of people throw around that has an ominous feeling to it, but if you are being truthful about your life, you are automatically going to sound dramatic, and that’s perfectly acceptable. When you are smoke-screening and lying and obscuring the truth and throwing out drama, that’s a red flag, but if you are being real and talking about the truth of your life, the byproduct is that you are going to come off to some as being dramatic, but if it’s rooted in a real place, have at it and don’t worry about what other people think. Being an actress and classically trained myself, I can tell you what any acting teacher will tell you, good acting comes from a place of truth, it comes from a place of really knowing your character and expressing their truths translated through your own instrument, your body, so even in the realm of creativity, the best art is based on truthfulness.
When someone is in denial, we all can sense it, it’s like a buffer of lies around this person, that people don’t want to touch lest they set off a time bomb, and if you are doing this to yourself, and thus others, you will begin to be more and more set off from true intimate contact with the people you love, because lies/denial poison every interaction we have.